Spongefi

Well, I'd have to say I want the sponge. The paper clip, the suction hook, all second to the almighty sponge. This thing soaks up water man, and that water can ruin paper, rendering the paper clips power helpless. The door hook can never stick to the sponge, so escape would be easy. And then you are free to make sponge paintings, clean up large puddles of water, dress the sponge up like famous presidents, or just have quality sponge bonding time! Man. Well, actually in all practicality I'd take the paper clips. But beware, The great crusader for justice, Spongefi, lurks in the shadow waiting for you to rip some unsuspecting paper, and then BAM, you get served a wet slap of justice. [Theme music to the tune of spiderman]

Songefi! Spongefi!
Soaks up more than the brawny guy
Can he put you in your place
With a wet slap to the face
Yes Sir, Here comes Spongefi ahhhhhhh

Ew. Sponges.

At first, I wanted to say the suction cup hook. It seemed like an obvious choice--I'm always looking for sleek storage options. Also, I'm afraid of sponges, so why would I want one for Christmas? Silly! So anyway, it looked like I was going for the door hook. But then I thought about all the times suction cup hooks have crapped out on me. They get dusty and then they won't stick. They leave that unattractive ring where ever you put them. They can't hold anything particularly heavy. Basically, they suck. Ha. Ha. So yeah, I'd have to go with the paperclips. Funny, since I got the idea from the actual bag of paperclips that is sitting on my desk, which means I already, in fact, have a bag of paperclips. Oh well, all I want for Christmas is you, "percent n".

well now

i would want the bag of paper clips. but only if it was a never-ending bag of paperclips. cuz then everything i own would be made out of paperclips. i could make paperclip clothes and drive a paperclip car, and then i would be known as paper-clip girl so i would therefore be a superhero and i could vanguish things like evil, unorganized papers.

We need a topic. I promise I'll post this week. How 'bout...What would you rather get for Christmas and why: A sponge, a suction cup hook, or a bag of paper clips? Or suggest you own! Now! ...Please?

Yay!

This is truly a week of yay for all of us here at Wing Night. The casting, NYU, me performing an excellent scare on Liz, Karen finishing out her first semester and soon coming home!, rerecording the smash hit 12 days of protection to censor out the horribly offensive word 'Christmas', seeing Donitz tomorrow for the first time since the end of the summer, Karen rewriting her paper more kickass than the first I bet, Liz performing acrobatic feats, Nicole escaping death through an obstacle course, I succeeded in killing three grizzly bears with my bare hands and some wit, Karen single handily beat an angry mob of Boston lovers burning the Yankee flag, Liz beat cancer with a stick, I beat the stairs by almost falling by then flying back up, Nicole beat the floor by not tripping on it, and everyone beats the Giants. Whew. What a week!

byebye highschool

congrats to joe and nicole for getting into NYU! yay!

trust me, on the college.

Mark Cohen aKa Joe Puglisi has inspired me to witty this little ditty about college for all you highschoolers out there. Bear with me being that it is currently 2:08 and I therefore have only 22 minutes before I leave to attend my final class of my first semester at college.
First off, STOP stressing about college. You're in highschool, the stressing only increases when you get to college and you're awake at 3am, have 3 tests the next day, and haven't started studying yet, so save yourself and put off the worrying till your college years fully commence.
Focus on your HIGHSCHOOLwork - including getting AP credit! You will be thanking God day in and out when you place out of your core requirements (or kicking yourself when you don't!) Keep (or work on developing!) your good study habits. These are KEY in college. STOP PROCRASTINATING. STOP IT. RIGHT NOW. CLICK THE X AND GO TO DO YOUR HOMEWORK! WHY ARE YOU READING THIS?!?!? Ok, ok, I realize that procrastination is inevitable, but take it from me, procrastination will slowly but surely eat away at your sleep and social life, and probably your gpa.
Don't worry too much... it's your first semester in college - you're supposed to fuck up and make mistakes; it's what life is all about. So when you decide to choose the same paper topic as your roommate for your BS rocknroll class, you "help each other out" aka "plagerize" and are told you could be expelled from college, suck it up, rewrite the paper, learn from your mistake and don't do it again! DO NOT COPY SHIT FROM THE INTERNET/OTHER PPL. You will be found out! And you might not GET a second chance.
Pray to GOD that you get a motivated roommate.... in all aspects of life. If you get one that's an even WORSE procrastinator then you are, who is fat and lazy and never works out and keeps her shit all over the place, you will start too as well. Though having a chipper and motivated and "lets go for a 5 mile run!" roommate will undoubtedly get annoying, it's a hell of a lot better then further perpetuating your poor study/eating/working out habits. I'm unfortunately learning this the hard way.
Study. Go to class (at least 75% of the time). Learn. Get educated - it's what your parents are paying $40K per year for, so don't waste their money.
Go out. Party. Drink if you want to, sometimes even if you don't. Laugh. Make a fool of yourself. Take pictures!!! Looking back on the first few days/weeks/months of your semester will be a lot of laughs and a lot of "what the fuck was i thinking..." 's. those are always the best
Stay in occassionally. Watch a movie (sober). Play nintendo (sober). Just hang out (sober(?)) Sometimes the best times you have are just sitting around hanging out, no other substances needed.
Experiment: sex, drugs, rockNroll (but not the class!) - whatever it is that floats your boat or that you think might. Talk to people you thought you never would - Better yet, get drunk with them! - that always equates to good times.
Make LOTS of friends, but keep in touch with your old ones. Even if you lost sight of why you were friends with them, always know that you were for a reason. Plus you want to have something to do, somewhere to go, and somone(s) to go there with when you're home on vacation.
Do NOT come home on break thinking you're some enlightened college student - You're not. You're a first semester freshman aKa nothing.
Get in trouble. Not a lot - just enough. If you're going to get written up by your RA, at least make it worth while - not for something pointless like "not obeying quiet hours"
Befriend upperclassmen. They're parties are always the best, and have the least chance of being raided/broken up.
BE CAREFUL WITH FAKE ID'S. Find out about places before you go to them - and not just bars - liqour stores as well.
Befriend your professors! This is something I failed to do 1st semester and I definitely regret it. Introduce yourself, talk with them, go to their office hours - they have them for a reason, and it sure as hell must be boring sitting around for 2 hours doing nothing by themselves.
Most important: Have Fun! These are 4 years that you'll never get back, no matter how long you want to stay living in this false reality of "The Real World" that college seems to present. This is NOT the Real World. This is college - live it up while it lasts.

So tired...

Well, its wing night but no topic I'm afraid....Plus everyone has been busy with the concert this week so not too much attention was paid to getting anything done. Especially homework, so you can imagine what got done around here at the pub. Meh. I'm pretty pissed because its late, I'm tired, and a stack of work awaits. I am comforted however, by the fact that I don't have college work yet. But I would welcome college work to not have to wake up at 630 in the freakin morning every god damn day. Speaking of days, only about 6 until I may be getting a letter. A letter that will determine my fate. I'm seriously scared, not frightened, its just such a foreboding event that the thought of it makes me want to go to sleep. You know? Not quite dread, not quite anticipation, somewhere in the middle where the excitement and the fear are dancing together. That's poetic....That's pathetic. Ok enough rent. I need to work and get to sleep. So until next week, this is Joefi saying: "Always look both ways before taking AP courses" Goodnight!

A health project gone crazy

The Twelve Days of Protection (right click, save as)

Nicole: Vocals
Joe: Vocals and Sleigh Bells
Matt: Vocals and Piano

The 12 Days of Protection

Lyrics by Nicole

On the 1st day of Xmas my partner protected me…with a condom on his erect penis!

On the 2nd day of Xmas my partner protected me…with a dental dam on her vagina and a condom on his erect penis!

On the 3rd day of Xmas, my partner protected me…with a brand new sterile needle, a dental dam on her vagina, and a condom on his erect penis!

On the 4th day of Xmas my partner protected me…with a package of female condoms, a brand new sterile needle, a dental dam on her vagina, and a condom on his erect penis!

On the 5th day of Xmas my partner protected me…with STD tests for all of us! …A package of female condoms, a brand new sterile needle, a dental dam on her vagina, and a condom on his erect penis!

On the 6th day of Xmas my partner protected me…with a talk about monogamy …STD tests for all of us! …A package of female condoms, a brand new sterile needle, a dental dam on her vagina, and a condom on his erect penis!

On the 7th day of Xmas my partner protected me…with a condom during anal sex, a talk about monogamy…STD tests for all of us! …A package of female condoms, a brand new sterile needle, a dental dam on her vagina, and a condom on his erect penis!

On the 8th day of Xmas my partner protected me… with latex instead of lambskin, a condom during anal sex, a talk about monogamy…STD tests for all of us! …A package of female condoms, a brand new sterile needle, a dental dam on her vagina, and a condom on his erect penis!

On the 9th day of Xmas my partner protected me…with cyber sex and phone sex, latex instead of lambskin, a condom during anal sex, a talk about monogamy…STD tests for all of us! …A package of female condoms, a brand new sterile needle, a dental dam on her vagina, and a condom on his erect penis!

On the 10th day of Xmas my partner protected me…with a water-based lubricant, cyber sex and phone sex, latex instead of lambskin, a condom during anal sex, a talk about monogamy…STD tests for all of us! …A package of female condoms, a brand new sterile needle, a dental dam on her vagina, and a condom on his erect penis!

On the 11th day of Xmas my partner protected me…with mutual masturbation, a water-based lubricant, cyber sex and phone sex, latex instead of lambskin, a condom during anal sex, a talk about monogamy…STD tests for all of us! …A package of female condoms, a brand new sterile needle, a dental dam on her vagina, and a condom on his erect penis!

On the 12th day of Xmas my partner protected me…with abstinence from sex, mutual masturbation, a water-based lubricant, cyber sex and phone sex, latex instead of lambskin, a condom during anal sex, a talk about monogamy…STD tests for all of us! …A package of female condoms, a brand new sterile needle, a dental dam on her vagina, and a condom on his erect penis!

The pub will be closed until next Thursday due to lack of topic/time. Cheers to Liz for posting a draft, though. Wanna post it anyway?